Howdy folks! 

I see that trolls are going through all my old garbage :) For my peace of mind, I figured I’d make some edits and explain what the heck this is. So thank you /so/ much for making me have to figure out how to log into an ancient FTP site in 2016. :)

Hamtwoslices was the clearinghouse for my clique of internet friends for many years. Almost everything here is some sort of joke or running tangent coming from our #WIngNut IRC channel. It wasn’t ever really meant for anyone but us and so there’s not really any context for most of it. We were bored, frustrated teens who thought we were smarted than everyone in the world, and we were really into abstract, sometimes kinda mean humor. There’s some great stuff mixed in (THE SPIDER PAGE!) but it’s mostly sad, lonely teen angst.

The Kerri-Lee Hackett photos were a running gag in 1999. I was a senior in high school and met her when she showed up to interview folks about a school shooting scare. I went home and dreamily told all my internet buddies I was in love and they teased me forever. One of them wrote a script for my ATI All-in-Wonder TV card that’d grab her picture during the traffic report and add it to a gallery. I recall it didn’t last too long, as she moved to another station around when I graduated. (I met her again in line for Phantom Menace and actually talked about this, which I’m sure was super creepy for her! If you can find this video, it me be the worst thing you can see me do.) I am going to kill that now—not because I don’t want people to know it existed (Ben liked GIRLS?!), but because she’s certainly a real person who doesn’t need old TV news photos spread around the internet. If you’re out there, Ms, Hackett, I’m sorry I was a weirdo! (I am still a weirdo, but I have a bit more respect for other people now!)

… and for those asking about the Book of LOAF! The really embarrassing thing there is the suggestion that I made a website to quote myself :) I am not that smart and even then I was not that vain. That was our group’s version of (we weren’t anywhere near as original as we thought we were.) It was originally random IRC quotes collected by ChrisReid starting in 1995 and then later taken over by Trelane (who created the web one as a class project.) It was one of those things you’d see on nichey-y IRC servers: you’d type !LOAF and get a quote. Much of it is stuff I’ve said (devoid of context) and much of it isn’t. It’s not dated, but I’d guess we lost interest somewhere in college, probably around 2003 or 4 as folks were growing up and moving on?

Anyway! Enjoy my old stuff. And if you’re here to troll, keep digging: I’m sure there’s dumb teen- and early-twenties Ben stuff! 


Index of Services

  • /lj - LOAF's Journal - {LOAF's adventures, notes and all-around better-than-LeHah-ness.}

  • /trelane - The Book of LOAF, HypterText Edition - {A fully searchable index of The Book.}

  • /frosty - Frosty.Com - {Frosty hates the LiveJournal.}

  • /loaf_art - LOAF Art - {The classic image collection.}

  • /lmg - Merry Guild - {LOAF's Merry Guild's home base.}

  • /zork.htm - Zork - {The Fairly Inadequate Zork page.}

  • /spiders.htm - Spiders - {Dr. Burroughs' amazingly true facts about Spiders.}

  • /faq.html - FAQ - {MikeG and B-Lo answer the tough questions.}

  • /kerri-lee - Many Pictures of Kerri-Lee - {Contains many pictures of Kerri-Lee.}

  • /chapter33 - Gavin's Kris Page - {The worlds most intense Kris Vanhecke fan site.}

  • - The Book of LOAF